Life, Thinking Biblically

A Roller Coaster Ride

There is an appointed time for everything.
And there is a time for every event under heaven…
…A time to weep and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
~Ecclesiastes 3:1&4
I was reading in Ecclesiastes this morning, and came to this passage. It seems to perfectly describe the past 7 days. Exaclty one week ago today, we learned that our unborn baby had died. 2 days ago, we celebrated Jason’s graduation from seminary. In just the span of one week so much has happened. I did not know that it was humanly possible to experience such a range of emotion in such a short amount of time!  

Monday of last week, it seemed that all was right with the world – we were happily expecting our second child in December, and very much lookng forward to Jason’s upcoming graduation. Life was good. Hannah and I had our “to-do list” ready to go for the week, and we were going to be busy. Family was coming to visit, and we were planning a small party following the graduation ceremony – all of which meant that the house had to be cleaned, food and decorations had to be purchased, the cake had to be ordered, and picked up – and I was looking forward to doing each and every thing. Because, each item checked off my list, meant we were just a little closer to graduation day! What an amazing thought – 4 years of hard work, long days, sometimes even longer nights, studying, reading, Greek, Hebrew – and it would all be over in a little less than a week!

Then Tuesday came. On Tuesday morning, I had a doctor’s appointment, and I went in expecting everything to be just fine. But, it wasn’t. I somehow went from a state of complete happiness, and excitement about the days ahead, to a sadness that is almost impossible to put into words. I was overcome by a feeling of emptiness that I really have never known before – the sorrow of losing someone you love so dearly, yet, this side of heaven, will never have the opportunity to meet. But, at the very same time, experiencing a joy and a peace because this child will never be touched by suffering, or pain, or sin.

Wednesday brought a “minor surgery” and recovery time, and then it was back to reality on Thursday. Through all of this, life had to go on. I have a little girl that I had to think about, to take care of – there were diapers to be changed, meals to be made, baths to be given, and games to be played. I played with her, laughed at her silly faces, and smiled at every hug and cuddle she gave. And, I honestly enjoyed every moment of it. On Sunday, we went to church, and smiled, and talked with other couples. We went to graduation, and celebrated the accomplishment that it represented.

We were asked if we were “really fine” or if we were putting on our “church faces.” Fine? No. Good? Yes. There is a difference. I certainly wouldn’t want anyone to think that this whole situation has been easy, it has been an emotional roller coaster ride to rival any at Magic Mountain! And, it definitely poses a legitimate question. Is it possible to be truly happy, while at the same time experiencing a very real feeling of sadness? Ecclesiastes 3:1 says that there is an appointed time for everything, and verse 4 says “there is a time to weep, and a time to laugh.” This past week was exactly that. There was a time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance. When I read this verse in the past, I did not realize that these “appointed times” could come days, or moments apart – or even occur at the same time! But, they can, and they do. They do because God created our emotions, He gave them to us. And, He appointed a time for everything. No, this past week was not an easy one – it was hard. But, it was also good. And that is only because God is good.

Blessed Be Your Name
by: Matt Redman
Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I’m found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I’ll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun’s shining down on me
When the world’s ‘all as it should be’
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there’s pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I’ll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name