I Will

I am not a morning person.  Oh, I can (and generally do) get up and get myself going at a semi-decent hour, but it is certainly not my preference.  If given the choice, I am a night owl.  (According to my mom, I was this way from the womb!)  Add to that the fact that insomnia seems to be a constant for me, and I have seriously contemplated becoming nocturnal! 

But, these days, I do not have much of a choice in the matter.  I have a very active little girl, who is very much a morning person!  She wakes up early (by choice!), with a smile on her face, ready to face the day…and that energy seems to last all day long!  Me?  I need my coffee.

With insomnia once again rearing its ugly little head, I have recently found myself facing some very long days on very little, to no sleep.  Although I try to be as productive as I can, my nocturnal activities are somewhat limited.  I don’t think anyone would appreciate my vacuuming at 2 a.m.  (Don’t think I haven’t considered it!)  So, I have passed the hours by reading, listening to songs and/or sermons on my iPod, and praying.  Now, you would think that this would have an impact on my attitude as each new day approaches. 

You would think…But, somehow, an ongoing state of sleep deprivation makes it a struggle to have a right attitude throughout the day!

Because of this, I have gone back to reading the Psalms in the wee hours of the morning.  I have heard people say that they do not particularly like the Psalms because it seems to be more directed at the feelings or emotions.  I am not a touchy-feely, emotional, poetry type.  I prefer a more direct, ”tell it like it is” approach.  But, I like Psalms!

The last time I read/studied Psalms, I took a suggestion made by Pat Ennis, in her book, Precious in His Sight.  As I read, I underlined each time the Psalmist used the phrase “I will.”    And, I was surprised to note that while many of them do express a variety of emotions, many of them are also directed at our will…

• I will give thanks…
• I will be glad…
• I will praise you…
• I will bless the Lord…
• I will rejoice…
• I will cause your name to be remembered…
• I will trust You…
• I will hope…
• I will remember…
• I will meditate on your precepts…
• I will glorify your name forever…

These are just a few examples – there are so many more!  Try this exercise for yourself sometime!  Especially as you think through the circumstances behind some of these Psalms, the will becomes quite significant.  Many of the actions described cannot be the result of an emotional response based on favorable circumstances, they are a conscious act of the will – a choice – to trust, hope, praise, bless, or give thanks…often in the midst of quite unfavorable circumstances!

Too often I let changing circumstances, or emotions, rather than the unchanging truth of God’s Word, guide my attitude and my responses throughout the day.  I pretend that I am a “helpless victim” of my circumstances.  But, I’m not.  In each and every circumstance, with each and every emotion, my response is a choice.

“I will praise the Lord as long as I live; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being.”  (Psalm 146:2-ESV)

No conditions. No qualifications.  Just “I will.”