Book Review: Damsels in Distress

About a year ago, I picked up Martha Peace’s book, Damsels in Distress: Biblical Solutions for Problems Women Face.  And, I recently revisited it with my accountability group.

In her characteristic straightforward style, Martha Peace deals with several common problems and temptations that women face: Gossip, Idolatrous Emotional Attachments, Manipulation, Hurt Feelings, Vanity, PMS, Legalism, Feminism, The Role of Women in the Church, and Trials.  These can be difficult, and often emotionally-charged, issues to tackle.  In a culture – and this includes the church – that often makes excuses for, and, even defends sinful behavior, I appreciated Peace’s direct approach that calls sin what it is – sin.  She does not make excuses, but instead, as the subtitle suggests, offers biblical solutions and genuine hope for change.

You may not personally struggle with each and every issue covered in this book.  But, if you are not currently struggling with one (or more) of the issues addressed in this book, the chances are good that you may know someone who is.  And, as believers, we are called to bear one another’s burdens.  This book will serve as a practical reference as we deal with our own struggles and sinful tendencies, and also as as we seek to minister to one another. 

Although each chapter has much to offer, I will only point out two that I found particularly helpful:

Are You Sure PMS is Real?
I do not struggle with PMS in the same way that some women do.  But, I so appreciated the way Peace dealt with this issue.  Because this has never been much of an issue for me, I have a tendency to assume that most women use that time of the month as an excuse for their sinful behavior.  I have also heard others, specifically within the biblical counseling community (and this includes both men and women), claim that it is not real.  But, in this chapter (ch. 7), Peace offers both medical (the physical sympoms) and biblical (the sinful responses) evidence that point to PMS as a real issue for many women.  However, she is also careful to add,

“as real as it is, it cannot prevent us from honoring God and loving others during that time.” (pg. 105)

She then goes on to outline a biblical plan of action for dealing with the struggles and temptations presented during that time of the month.  This chapter helped me to understand the physical and emotional difficulties that some women face each month.  It also gave me greater insight as to how I can help them deal with those struggles in a biblical, Christ-honoring way.  (I actually thought that the explanation and solutions offered in this chapter were so good, I made my husband read it!)

Be Thankful? You Can’t Be Serious? (Trials)
As Christians, we all walk through trials.  We are all tested.  And, at one time or another, we have probably all asked “Why?”  I know I have.  For that reason, I also found the chapter on dealing with trials (ch. 11) to be especially helpful. 

Peace starts out this way,

“The ‘Why?’ question is common as people grapple with trials.  Although it is possible to have an innocent motive in asking the ‘Why?’ question, most people ask ‘Why?’ because they are upset with God.  Some conclude that there must not be a God.  Others believe there is a God, but He must be powerless to prevent trials.  Still others preach and teach that we have to come to the place where we forgive God.

All of these conclusions have one thing in common – they are blasphemous.  They malign God’s character by accusing Him of not being good.” (pg. 161)

Whatever the test or trail may look like, this chapter serves as a wonderful reminder that God has a purpose in testing us.  Although it may not be pleasant, and we may not ever understand the why, ultimately, we must remember that it is for our good.  And, I for one needed Peace’s gentle, but direct, reminder that, “He will do whatever it takes for you to give Him glory.” (pg. 164)

Although, and maybe because I greatly enjoyed, and profited from reading this book the first time, I was excited to share it with the ladies in my accountability group.  Discussing the topics addressed, and the study questions at the end of each chapter, with other women helped me to understand just how real some of these struggles are.  While we may not all struggle with the same temptations in the same way, we all struggle with sin. 

As Peace points out in the first chapter,

“Just because I had become a Christian did not mean that I did not have problems.  I still do, as a matter of fact!  It was an incredible relief and joy, however, to discover that God had provided resources to help me.” (pg. 25) 

This book is one of those resources!  Each chapter is filled with biblical reminders, warnings, encouragement, and hope.  I also found her charts (figures) to be an especially helpful visual aid, as she summarized sinful behaviors, and lined it up in stark contrast with what Scripture calls us to do instead.  This book begins, and ends, with the encouragement that, “there is always a biblical solution.”