Book Review: Choices that Lead to Godliness

Over the last 3 months, I have been reading Donna Morley’s book, Choices That Lead to Godliness, with my girls’ accountability group.  We read one chapter each week, and then discuss what we had read, and what we were learning.  I tend to go through books fairly quickly, so, for me, 3 months was a long time to spend in one book.  But, this book was well worth the time spent! 

Whether in the big, life-altering decisions, or the seemingly minor, everyday choices, our lives are filled with moments that call for wisdom and discernment.  In the introduction, Donna points out that,

“our choices shape us.  They determine what we are.  They shape our lives and destiny.  And we’ll discover – as the apostle Paul tells us in Philippians 1:9-10 – that when we seek to make the best choices, we do what is excellent – and pleasing to God.” (pg. 13)

Throughout the book, Donna deals directly, and biblically, with many issues that we all face as we seek to “bypass the better and choose the best” (pg. 12), and cultivate true discernment.  Each chapter is full of wisdom and biblical advice on making godly choices, but I’ll just highlight a few that I found especially helpful:

Gossip:  In the first chapter, Donna addresses an area that women, especially, tend to struggle with – our words.  She says,

“Scripture tells us the reason we are to be discerning with our words and to choose them carefully is so they will be “helpful for building other up according to their needs that it may benefit those who listen” (Eph. 4:29, NIV).  This is the beginning of godly speech.” (pg. 19) 

It is so easy to get caught up in gossipy conversations…It comes in all forms.  Sometimes, it is easy to identify, while other times it catches you completely off guard.  In this chapter, she identifies (from Scripture) three types of gossipers, and explains how we can avoid not only sharing gossip, but listening to it as well.  Even if you are not planning to share the contents of the conversation, listening to a gossip share her “tasty morsels,” without confronting the gossiper, or defending the object of the gossip is still harmful.  We would be wise to remember that “death and life are in the power of the tongue…” (Proverbs 18:21)

Friendships:  “Some of us seldom think seriously about the role of friendships.” (pg. 50)  But, Proverbs 12:26 tells us “The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.” (NASB)  We need to be mindful of the impact that our friends will have on us – both for good and bad.

I tend to want all of my friendships to involve deep, spiritually-challenging conversations.  And, I become extremely disappointed when my friends “let me down” in this area.  But, Donna pointed out that, while we should be careful to choose friends who will sharpen us, and influence us toward godliness, not all friendships (even among believers) will be spiritual friendships.  They cannot all reach the same level of spiritual depth.

When we desire to further develop the spiritual side of a particular friendship, we first need to honestly examine our own lives to determine if we are ready to offer that type of friendship.  I love her directness, as she reminds us that, “One thing that can keep us from sharpening one another in the Lord is ungodliness (though we may think we are godly).” (pg. 57, emphasis added)  Consider these helpful questions from this chapter:

• Am I a woman of the word? (Do I daily study God’s Word, and trust the Holy Spirit to lead me?)
• Am I a woman of habitual prayer?  Only a woman who knows God through prayer can be near to the heart and mind of God.
• Is my life hidden in Christ?  (Do I know that my life is nothing without God, and that He can work through me to be a blessing in the lives of others?) (pg. 57)

Using The Time of Your Life:  “Life, minute by minute, goes by only once, and I have learned only too well that when I misspend time, I can never get it back.” (pg. 97)  I like schedules and routines.  I have always classified myself as a “task-oriented” person.  I want to be efficient and diligent in all that I have to do in a given day.  And, while being diligent in my work is not necessarily a bad thing, I often find myself getting frustrated with “interruptions” that may potentially mess up my plans.  The sad part about that is that these apparent “interruptions” may come in the form of people who need my attention (my husband, or my daughter, possibly?).Donna pointed out that,

“there are two types of interruptions.  One distracts us from what we should be doing; the other delays us, merely postponing our progress.  Distractions jeopardize our chance to reach our goal, while delays merely grant us unexpected opportunities.” (pg. 102)

I love the perspective that she offers in that statement, and throughout the chapter.  On a practical level, she suggests making extra room in your schedule to allow for these “opportunities.”  She also suggests thinking through your priorities, and planning for ways to effectively use our time, and ensure that we are using it wisely to influence others.  If my husband is a priority, I will incorporate that into my daily schedule, by planning ahead for his arrival home – by making time to pick up the toys and other “stuff” that collects throughout the day, and planning for, and preparing, dinner.  If my daughter is a priority, that will be reflected in the time that I purpose to spend with her, both in play and in instruction – both for the present, and with an eye to her future.

“We have no idea what is in store when we see delays as opportunities rather than distractions!” (pg. 107)

God’s Word:  The last two chapters of the book focus on God’s Word.  Chapter 12 deals specifically with “Blunting the Sword,” while chapter 13 focuses on the question of “God’s Word or Ours?”  While each chapter offered valuable (biblical) wisdom, and principles for cultivating discernment, I found these two chapters especially helpful and encouraging.

“Widespread lack of discernment not only allows distortion of the Word to go unchallenged, but it also lets these erroneous teachings pass for “insight.”  A person can listen to message after message without ever hearing basic truths or having to change ungodly attitudes.  During some lessons today, the Bible sits uselessly on the listeners’s lap, unopened.” (pg. 198)

Unfortunately, I have lost count of the number of times this has happened to me at various church-sponsored events. We have become a culture that elevates skilled communicators, funny stories, or secular human philosophies above the truth and absolute authority of Scripture.

But, this is not exclusive to the church, or church-related activities.  In chapter 13, Donna brings this problem to a personal level – our own personal study of God’s Word.

“Are we reading Scripture as God wrote it, or are we distorting it and communicating error?  Are we turning God’s Word into our word?” (pg. 212)

We need to be careful and diligent in our study God’s Word.  We need to see it for what it truly is – the inspired, infallible, inerrant Word of God, and seek out an accurate understanding of what is written.  Only then can we correctly apply it to our lives, and gain the discernment that will allow us to make wise choices that will please and honor our Lord.

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Yesterday (Sunday), Donna was kind enough to spend the afternoon with our girls’ group, and answer many questions.  Some were pulled directly from the content of this book, while others were “inspired by” it.  Her knowledge and understanding of God’s Word was clearly demonstrated, as each of her answers pointed us back to the truths of Scripture.  She truly is a wise woman, and lives out what she has written in this book.  It is a privilege to know her, and has been a blessing to learn from her wisdom – both through this book, and in person.