My husband is always reminding me that “hate†is a very strong word, and I should use it sparingly – only when I really mean it. Okay. This time, I really, really mean it! I hate spiders! They scare me. Especially the poisonous kind that invade my personal space – my home, or in this case, my car. (Hear that, spiders – MY car!)
This morning, as I was putting Hannah in her carseat to head off to church, I noticed a spider web in the corner of the opposite window (behind the driver’s seat, but thankfully, on the other side of the car from where her carseat is located). I looked at it, but couldn’t find a spider anywhere. So, since we were in a little bit of a hurry, I decided to just head off to church, and deal with it when we got home.Â
After we were done at the church, I had actually forgotten about the offending web. I got Hannah situated in her car seat, and hopped in myself. I remembered rather quickly, though, when I turned to put on my seatbelt, and saw the web behind me! Ew! I did not like the idea of driving home with it behind me… Turns out, that was a very good idea.
So, I grabbed a tissue, and figured I’d make quick work of the web, and then we’d be on our way. Instead, I ended up putting on a show for several of the ladies in the parking lot! I got out, opened the back door and saw a shiny black spider hiding in the corner…So, of course, I did the only rational thing a person would do in this situation – I jumped up and down and screamed like a girl! I think I surprised Hannah, who just laughed at me, and said, “Look Mommy! A spider!â€Â (Like I was supposed to be excited about it?!) I think I may have even scared the spider a little bit, because she moved. Oh, how do I know it was a she? Well, the red hourglass on her belly was a clue!! Yes, it was a black widow - and it was in. my. car!!! (Just thinking about it – even now - gives me the chills! Ew, ew, ew!!!)
At this point, I just had to get rid of it. There was no way it was riding home in the backseat – with Hannah!! (It had already been back there with her for far too long!) So I found a piece of paper and brushed at the web, squealing every time the evil thing moved. And, Hannah tried to be helpful by giving me a play-by-play of the spider’s every step… “Mommy, the spider moved!â€Â (Uh, yeah, I noticed.) I tried (though quite unsuccessfully) to stay calm for her sake, and responded with “Okay, thank you, sweetie.â€Â  Of course, that was immediately followed by more squealing and jumping.
The spider finally got out of the car – I have no idea how – and on to the pavement underneath. But, I could not bring myself to step on it. Make no mistake, I wanted it dead.  It certainly was not pity – it was sheer terror, combined with a strong desire to put as much distance as possible between myself and that creepy, 8-legged creature that spared its life!
Assured that the invader was safely out of the car, we headed home. During the entire 15-minute trip, I only had one hand on the steering wheel…because the other one was busy brushing away the (imaginary) spiders that were crawling all over me! I’m sure the people in the car next to me thought I was crazy… And, they may not have been too far off – because the really sad thing about this whole episode…I spent the drive home thinking to myself what a great blog post this would make…
Did I mention that I HATE spiders??