“I want my child to be like Christ, not the crowd.†~Voddie Baucham
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Socialization:Â the process whereby an individual learns to adjust to a group (or society) and behave in a manner approved by the group (or society). According to most social scientists, socialization essentially represents the whole process of learning throughout the life course and is a central influence on the behavior, beliefs, and actions of adults as well as of children. (Encyclopedia Britannica)
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The process by which an individual learns to…behave in a manner approved by the group. And yet, in contrast, God’s Word repeatedly warns us against that very thing:
- “Hear the word that the Lord speaks to you, O house of Israel. Thus says the Lord: ‘Learn not the ways of the nations, nor be dismayed at the signs of the heavens because the nations are dismayed at them, for the customs of the peoples are vanity.†~Jeremiah 10:1-3
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- Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.†~Romans 12:1
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- “Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ! – assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.†~Ephesians 4:17-24
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- “For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.†~Titus 2:11-12
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- “You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.†~James 4:4
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- “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.†~1 John 2:15
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- “Beloved, do not imitate evil but imitate good. Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God.†~3 John 11
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In the classrooms and on the playgrounds of the public schools, children learn to adjust their behavior to that of their peer group. Children are surrounded by sinful behavior: dishonesty (cheating, lying), disrespect for authority, immodesty, offensive language (this can run the gamut from cussing to unacceptable topics of conversation), inappropriate relationships. This behavior has become commonplace. (And, this list doesn’t even address the more sensational issues of violence (fights) among students, gang recruitment and activity, volatile race relations, school shootings, student-teacher relationships, drug and/or alcohol use, sex “education,†and the presence of the homosexual agenda. All of which are beginning to occur with greater frequency.)
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This is the behavior to which my child is supposed to adjust? This is the group that is supposed to dictate the acceptability of my child’s behavior, attitude, speech, wardrobe, and entertainment choices?
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No.
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“Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.†~1 Corinthians 15:33
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I realize that I cannot protect my child(ren) from every single instance of sin and corruption in the world, as much as I might want to. Simply walking out the front door of our home may offer my child a glimpse of an immodestly dressed woman. Children at the park or library may be using words that we deem offensive and inappropriate. Even at church, my child(ren) may see examples of disrespect and disobedience. And sadly, even in our own home, my child(ren) may witness my own laziness, or a lack of respect or submission to my husband.Â
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“Whoever makes a practice of sinning is of the devil, for the devil has been sinning from the beginning….No one born of God makes a practice of sinning.†~1 John 3:8-9
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This is a fallen world. Sin, and the accompanying temptation is everywhere. I cannot protect my child(ren) from that reality. I do, however, want to do all I can to protect, and yes shelter our child(ren) from continual and constant exposure to sinful and ungodly behavior.
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“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.†~James 1:27
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I am not saying that children should not develop friendships with other children (saved or not) of similar age. I simply do not believe that surrounding them, for several hours a day, with a similarly immature, foolish, and often unsaved peer group is the best way to keep them “unstained from the world.â€
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“Do not be surprised, brothers, that the world hates you.†~1 John 3:13
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“Fitting in†with their peers is not high on my priority list for my child(ren)’s education. I do not particularly want them to fit in with their unsaved peers. I do not believe that it is necessary, or advisable, or biblical to allow our children to “experiment†with various forms of worldliness and ungodliness in order to be accepted by their peers. I want my child(ren), especially as they come to repentance, and follow Christ as their Lord and Savior, to be distinct from the world. I want them to be different.Â
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“Even a child makes himself known by his acts, by whether his conduct is pure and upright.†(Proverbs 20:11)
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Often, I think we forget how impressionable, how susceptible, how easily influenced our children are. What relationships are having the most influence on our children? Whose behavior do they imitate?
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We, as parents must teach them that God’s Word, not culture, not society, not the opinion of man (their peers), is the ultimate, and final authority on acceptable behavior. That is the standard to which they must learn to adjust and conform.
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I want my child(ren) to be like Christ…not the crowd.
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“Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.†~1 Corinthians 11:1
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This is part 4, of a multi-post “series.” Need to catch up? Follow the links below:
I’m enjoying reading your posts on homeschooling. It would be very interesting to also hear your perspectives on going through the public school system yourself and how it affected your walk with God, either positively or negatively. 🙂
A good friend, who had homeschooled her now adult children, told me something I’ve never forgotten…”Children do not socialize other children. They are little unregenerate souls.”
Thank you for this article! It says all that my husband & I feel about society’s view on “socialization”. In fact, I think I am going to print it out to refer to!
Excellent post! I just got to hear Voddie again at a local convention and was reminded why we need to be the ones discipling our own children.
Just visiting from the HHH.
Blessings,
Alison
So true. And we as parents must model this. We have to make our decisions based on Scripture so our children can see it in action. Good post! I’m here from the Hip Hoomeschool Hop. Lisa~
Amen! Awesome post! Definitely one that I am bookmarking in case anyone wants to ask me about socialization. 🙂 Our socialization consists of church activities and socializing with like-minded Christians.
Beautifully done! Thank you so much for posting this. Your writings on this topic are invaluable!
Great post! So well put. Thank you.