Everyday Moments

2-year-olds have a notorious love/hate relationship with the word no.  One moment they love saying it to anyone who will listen.  It is their favorite answer to any and every question!  However, when the very same word is directed towards them – as in “No, do not pull the kitty’s tail.” or “No, you may not have ice cream for breakfast.” – well, let’s just say that they are not so fond of it anymore!

Not long ago, I read an article on an online baby/parenting site that suggested using the word “no” as little as possible.  Instead parents should “say yes” more by giving children positive alternatives to their incorrect choices.  I worked for a day-care center that employed this same basic philosophy…the workers were not allowed to tell a child “no” – even if their behavior was unsafe, or unacceptable.  We were instructed to simply divert their attention to a more acceptable activity.

As a parent, it is my job (along with my husband, of course) to be sure that my daughter is getting what she needs, and that may not always coincide with what she wants.  Often, we do get to say yes to her requests, and there is great joy in that.  But, there are times when a “no” is necessary, and more beneficial to her.  We would not be fulfilling our responsibility before the Lord – to protect her, and to teach her discipline and self-control (among other things) – if we gave in to every whim and desire.  She needs to learn the simple (not easy!) truth that “no”, though we may not always like it, or understand it, is a part of life. 

Hannah and I had a little talk about this very thing the other day.  She wanted a cookie.  She had already had a snack, and I was in the process of preparing dinner and did not want her to ruin her appetite.  I said no.  She whined about it for a moment, and stopped asking, though she was clearly not happy about it.  So, we sat down, and I attempted to explain to her that sometimes Mommy has to say no.  While she may want a cookie, Mommy knows that she needs a healthy dinner.  And, she needs to accept mommy’s “no” with a good attitude.

These days, I am often amazed by the parallel I see between the relationship that believers have with the Lord, and the relationship between a parent and child.  Of course, I realize that as I make this comparison I am in the midst of parenting a 2-year-old…  But, when I stop to think about it, I am more than a little embarrassed to find that this particular season in the parent/child relationship often seems to be an all too accurate picture of our relationship with the Lord. 

There have been many occasions – especially recently – that I have noticed my prayers quickly turn into pleading with the Lord over something that I want, and think I need, or circumstances that I feel should be changed.  He, in His infinite love and wisdom, has chosen to say no…at least for now.  And, like my daughter, I need to learn that “no” is a part of life for God’s children too.

Elisabeth Elliot calls God’s “no’s” some of His greatest mercies.

“Thank God that he loves us purely.  He has often, therefore, said a strong, infinitely loving, No.  Thank Him for that.  He may say yes to a foolish prayer – as the father of the prodigal son did – but that answer will give us a hard lesson, and ultimately drive us back to Him with a new understanding of what our relation to Him was intended to be in the first place.” (pg. 125, The Music of His Promises)

So often, we expect the Lord to work in our lives only at specifically designated times and places – sermons, Sunday school lessons, devotions, “spiritual” books.  (This thought was offered as a point for reflection in John MacArthur’s Twelve Extraordinary Women workbook, in the chapter on the life of Anna.)  Being a parent has caused me to see my own sin and prideful heart more clearly than ever before – but not always as an immediate result of spending time in the Word.  Often, these passages of Scripture, or books that I have read (like that above) come to mind in the midst of ordinary, everyday activities – like explaining to my 2-year-old daughter that “no” is a necessary, and good, answer to some requests…and we must accept it with a willing heart and a good attitude.